Review of Rabbi Akiva Tatz Talk at Next Dor

Last night, Rabbi Akiva Tatz, known for his talks, lectures and books covering a variety of Jewish subjects, spoke to 20 young adults about relationships and the idea of Jewish marriage

It is perhaps important to note the difference between the 'Jewish idea of marriage' as compared to 'the idea of Jewish marriage'. The subtle difference between the two is that the Jewish idea of marriage focuses on what a marriage provides, the relationship, the connection, etc., while the idea of a Jewish marriage focuses by definition on two Jews marrying for the purpose of creating a Jewish family. Follow me so far?

Rabbi Tatz began by laying out the non-negotiables for the basis of the marriage, that the relationship had to be between a man and a woman, that both partners must be Jewish (although a convert is 1000% Jewish, so long as they were converted in the Orthodox fashion).

He delved into some of the Kabbalistic understandings of marriage as the reunification of a single soul torn into two upon its journey from the spiritual to the physical world.

Rabbi Tatz went on to speak about attraction/chemistry as the most important factor, followed by the person's character, and along the way provided examples of marriages that had worked out, or hadn't depending on these various items.

Now it is important to note that Rabbi Tatz, although not born religious, is now quite religious, and is fairly black and white in regards to right and wrong ways to do things Jewishly. This made his comments all the most interesting when considering that his audience was composed of a mixed crowd of both fully secular and more religious Jews.

Rabbi Tatz did recognize that, while in religious communities, being set up with a wife without knowing her can work, that it is necessary to spend more time getting to know a potential partner in the secular world.

He raised a point almost totally foreign in the secular world. "How do you know when it is time to get engaged or call it off?" he asked. "When you know that one more date with the person will not reveal any new information." That is to say that once you know everything you need to know to make the decision, it is time to make it.

This runs fully counter to the flow of the secular world, in which people are often not considering marriage (particularly early on) during dating. For Rabbi Tatz and the Orthodox world, why date if you aren't moving specifically towards marriage?

The conversation was certainly an interesting one and brought up, in true Jewish fashion, more questions than answers. To learn more about Rabbi Akiva Tatz, please click here

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International Speaker and Author Dr. Akiva Tatz in St. Louis

It's not everyday that you get to hear a renowned (and famous) person speak (for free), just some days, and that day this week is Thursday.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz has spoken all over the world on topics such as Jewish medical ethics, relationships, finding one's purpose in life.


Wikipedia has the following to say about Rabbi Tatz:

Rabbi Tatz gives lectures to Jewish student groups and organisations across the UK, including an annual medical ethics lecture at University College London hosted by both the Jewish Society and Medical Ethics Society. He is also a regular lecturer on the Jewish Learning Exchange Genesis leadership programme. He has become a recognized expert in matters of Jewish thought and philosophy, which he covers in his authored texts. Zoketsu Norman Fischer, former abbot of the San Francisco Zen Center and founder of and teacher at the Everyday Zen Foundation, describes Tatz's work, Letters to a Buddhist Jew, as "a fascinating book - the most serious contribution in this field to date."

Tatz is both the founder and director of the Jerusalem Medical Ethics Forum, whose purpose is to promote knowledge of Jewish medical ethics internationally, giving lectures worldwide[9] in Jewish thought and medical ethics, as well as on modern applications in medicine.[10] He is also involved with the Jerusalem Center for Research in Medicine and Halacha, often speaking at their annual European events.

To learn more about the event, please click here
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