EPIC FAIL, the best stories from around the web

Its ok, sometimes people are busy, they don't have time for the frivolous pursuit of FAIL. Luckily, we here at the St. Lou Jew have done some of the leg work for you. Read on for FAILARITY. . .

For those who don't know, FAIL is an internet meme based on things going wrong, irony, or just plain stupidity. The 'Mission Accomplished' sign on the aircraft carrier is a perfect example of this.

Another great example comes in the form of a group of Christians who recently prayed at the Morgan Stanley Golden Bull to ask god for a return to a bull (growing) market.

Perhaps they don't know that a calf and a bull share some pretty interesting commonalities known as species. Perhaps they haven't heard of this little thing called the golden calf... or perhaps (in the case of Catholics) the line between depictions of god and idols have become somewhat obscured. In either case, there is a really interesting article about it that may have you asking for a pair of tablets just so that you can throw them to the ground. Talk about worshiping the almighty dollar!

To stay on the whole prophetic tip, comes a story from the Onion, making fun of the meteoric rise of 'Joe the Plumber' who was turned from a caricature into a living caricature by John McCain. The interesting thing about this article is that it was written 15 years ago and still has incredible relevance today.

Joe the Plumber gets the FAIL award for being unable to articulate a reason for his 15 minutes of fame or defend a single position. If these are the people McCain wants to showcase, he is probably further in the can than any of us imagined.

Finally, after reading both of those, and coming incredibly close to losing all faith in humanity, more people watched Barack Obama's 30 minutes of primetime television than watched the World Series. Granted, the WS was only on one channel, while Obama was on 7, but never-the-less, for that many people to be taking an interest in something as relevant and important as Obama, and pushing America's past-time into second place.. well, I guess that means that Obama is more American than baseball!

The only FAIL here is baseball, whose yearly salary pay outs are probably far higher that the bailout package.

/Please excuse the ADD nature of the above post, supplies of generic D-amphetamine have fallen faster than gas prices and stock portfolios.
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A Dumb Question: Joe the Plumber

From a concerned reader:

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes 250..270 uh 280 thousand dollars a year, your new tax plan is going to tax me more, now isn't it?"

When I heard the now famous Joe quoted on my NPR pod cast asking that question, I let forth the same series of expletives I normally reserve for Bushisms. What a stupid question! Yes, if you are making two-hundred and fifty THOUSAND dollars, you should pay more taxes then someone like me who makes on the order of 25 thousand/year. Even at the proposed higher tax percentages, you still have a s**t load of money.

Call me a socialist - and yes, I will admit to having lived on a kibbutz - but I like having community and government programs. I like schools. I like police forces. I even like roads. And I want my central governing body to govern these systems and programs that are utilized by everyone in my community / country. Furthermore, as a logical thinking citizen, I want everyone to contribute to the financing of these programs. Because, let's face it, the small town volunteer-part time fire department that works ok on limited equipment in a small rural town population 400, isn't going to cut it in St. Louis city. Jews especially should recognize the importance of supporting community structure, because the concept of community is central to our religion. Not only do we have an additional obligation as Jews to tithe 1/10 of our income towards tikun olam (Literally fixing the world), but also think about the nature of the synagogue, the structure of our holidays, and the value placed on inherently communal aspects of society such as a school or the mikvah (ritual pool). Interestingly, the money that we set aside for tithing isn't even really ours to give, but we should think about it as if we were merely the one responsible for allocating it . So if you can agree that we need these services, and we as a community benefit from the existence of these services, then you must realize that someone has got to anti-up the cash.

So why should Joe, who probably doesn't have kids in school or need medicaid, have to give more to fund these services? I'd like to invoke the Marxian statement "each according to his ability," but I have a feeling you would jump on my ironically not red behind and stop reading. So let's take a Jewish example of undue burden. A synagogue needs to pay its bills, and high holiday tickets are a key source of funding. While $100 a seat is nothing for my parents, that kind of fee would be a serious burden for me. I'm sure many of you enjoyed your free seat at services a few weeks ago - or if you didn't go, at least cost wasn't the obstacle. The same applies to our larger, more secular community. Why should a family be forced to choose between health care and food? It's not just a percentage, but an impact factor.

Now you might be saying, "I get it - I pay my taxes. I just don't want to pay MORE taxes then I already am." Wake up and smell the poverty. Look around you, not in tower grove or the central west end, but a little further east. I'm not writing to argue about wasteful government spending, but - fact - there are people in need. And as a Jew - and as a person - I am obligated to do what I can to help them.

Sadly, taxes are just one example of our nation shunning civic duty. While sitting at a conference last Friday, I overheard the gentleman sitting behind me bragging about how he made himself enough of a nuisance to be excused from jury duty. I almost punched him. He was proud of his failure to provide his peer with the most fundamental component of our judiciary system. Now this is St. Louis city, so probably the person on trial shared little of this graduate student's socio-economic, racial, or cultural background. But, I'm sorry, since when do civic duties - jury, taxes, or otherwise, stop at those boundaries? I'll get off my soap box now, but I had to say something. Particularly for a young, Jewish blog, the posts were just getting too conservative.

--Editor's note: We strive to incorporate a diverse range of opinions, and our bloggers love to hear from you. If you have a comment please comment on specific posts, as different authors tend to espouse very different viewpoints.
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Behind the Music: Joe the Plumber

So turns out John McCain's friend, "Joe the Plumber" isn't really a plumber at all...

"Joe the Plumber" isn't really a plumber at all, at least not one I would want fixing a leak in my house. It seems that a basic check of local licensing agencies in Ohio and Michigan show on plumbing licenses for Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, or even a name close to that.

So what does all this mean? The real question here is, if the Toledo Blade could figure this out, why couldn't a man vying to be the most powerful man in the world? Or did he know that he was twisting the facts, and hope he could sneak one by the American people? Either way, not an auspicious start to McCain's home stretch here.

On the way out, no, McCain did not land any body blows in last night's debate, appearing rather condescending and, yes, erratic. There's a long way to go, but it's becoming harder and harder to find the coalition McCain needs to pull this thing out. Disagree? Discuss below, it's Thursday and I'm up for a good fight.

//Edit by Y?- Sleep now and Zuz to cause an anti-matter black-hole in 3..2..1..
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